Meet the Characters
Shaping the Glauc Universe

From the literal darkest depths of the hospital, The Radiologist is Glaucomflecken General’s medical imaging hero. Despite wearing two layers of eye protection and no layers of pants (allegedly), he’s crucial to the diagnostic capabilities of every doctor in the place.

Dressed in a black turtleneck and a houndstooth coat, the psychiatrist (otherwise known as “Psych”) is tasked with conducting therapy sessions at Glaucomflecken General Hospital. Speaking with a deep, fatherly tone, he does his level best to get to the heart of a problem by being above the fray and pulling from his decades of study. But even the most experienced needs to be challenged occasionally, and the kids in GGH’s Metaverse will do just that. They’re going to teach him: there’s a fine line between listening and being heard.

Patience thy name is Pediatrician. With an ever-cheery disposition, the Pediatrician understands: it’s tough being a kid. And he does everything to make certain that the smallest voices are always heard. With a heart bigger than most, he’s that ray of sunshine that everyone needs on a cloudy day. He reminds everyone that sometimes just a smile (and safety suckers) can be the best medicine.

Despite being eternally locked away in the basement, the Pathologist is warm and kind – even if he only ever talks to his microscope, Tabitha. He’s happiest when looking at slides, although he could definitely use some non-machine, more human-like connection.

One of the hospital’s more intimidating characters, the Neurosurgeon, has a large ego hard-earned through years of near-fanatical dedication to his work. His direct gaze instills an overwhelming sense of imposter syndrome, but he’s definitely the one to trust when you need brain surgery.

The neurologist (aka “Neuro”) is one of the smartest physicians at Glaucomflecken General Hospital. .. and he makes sure everyone knows it. Donning a Phi Beta Kappa tie, gold-rimmed aviators, and a Kosmo Kramer-like hairdo, Neuro scours the hospital floors looking for any unsuspecting doctor who dares disparage the nervous system. Armed with legendary insults and no fewer than 3 reflex hammers, the neurologist strikes fear into the hearts of the staff at Glaucomflecken General Hospital.

Nobody’s more passionate about calculations than The Nephrologist. A guardian of kidney function, he’s a stickler who’s liable to butt heads – especially with The Cardiologist. His attitude may be salty, but that’s because it has to be. Literally.

Rural Medicine is more than just a doctor – he’s one of the few people responsible for keeping an entire small town alive (along with the ingenuity of Texaco Mike). Armed with a can-do attitude and the ability to learn how to do anything and everything, he’s an invaluable resource to a hardworking community of farmers who often put getting the job done in front of their own health.

The OB/GYN is, apparently, Glaucomflecken General’s only woman, having replaced a textbook from 1968. She’s a consummate professional, serving her patients while fielding not-so-bright questions from the male doctors. Whatever she’s getting paid, it’s not enough.

Jonathan is the loyal scribe of the Ophthalmologist. He’s always there (and where) you need him. But how? No one really knows. All they know is that whether it’s answering calls, doing paperwork, or carrying a weary Ophtho on his back, Jonathan has mastered the ancient scribe art of being seen but not heard. Though his intense, haunting gaze can be unsettling, it’s clear that behind this visage is a dedication to helping. Everyone wants a “Jonathan”, but the real question? Is there only one? And what are his ultimate plans?

General Surgery can’t be bothered by mundane activities like holding things or looking up information himself. After all, he’s the one who saves lives around here. While he doles out witty insults like candy on Halloween, it’s all for everyone’s own learning.

The Anesthesiologist is an expert in safely putting patients to sleep, sitting, and playing sudoku on the clock. As good as he is at reluctantly helping surgeons do their jobs, he appreciates the fine art of avoiding busy work as much as possible.

Perhaps no one has a less healthy work-life balance than Family Medicine. With a little love and appreciation – and firmer boundaries – he may one day be able to straighten out his tie and glasses. Until then, he’ll keep being the backbone of healthcare.

The hospital’s resident bro, Ortho’s philosophy is simple: bones. He’s happiest when he has access to a) a set of kettlebells, b) ancef, or c) you guessed it, bones. Long bones are his favorite, but he will tolerate non-long bones as well. He may not be the most bookish, but sometimes, simplicity gets the job done.

The Emergency Physician gets things done! His goal? Finishing work and hopping on his bike. An adrenaline junky, he’s always wearing a helmet, sunglasses, and a bicycle jersey and ready for action. He is addicted to caffeine because if his heart rate drops below 100 beats per minute, he’ll get burned. The emergency physician is the safety net for Glaucomflecken General, working himself to exhaustion, all powered by Diet Coke and trauma.

The Ophthalmologist (known by his peers as “Ophtho”) is an endlessly positive physician whose work/life balance skews heavily towards the life part. Ever dependent on his loyal scribe, Jonathan, he’s probably the last person you want responding to an in-flight medical emergency or helping out during a respiratory pandemic. He rarely takes calls and has forgotten 99% of what he learned in medical school.